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random musings of a crazy cat lady

Saturday, October 6, 2012

No more coffee dates, ever!

Nothing good ever comes from a coffee date for me.  I am sure they work well for most people.  I had sworn off them after my experiences with the dreaded dinner time coffee date phase two years ago, but made an exception for K because he seemed like a nice guy, and he didn't try to schedule it during a normal dinner time.  In the end, though, I couldn't escape the coffee date karma and I just wasn't into him and he wasn't into me.
The first time I did online dating, I wasn't opposed to coffee dates.  I was fine with the idea of meeting up and seeing if there is a spark.  I still am fine with it in theory, but for some reason I have zero luck with coffee dates.  Perhaps I'm not at my best on a coffee date, or perhaps they attract a certain type of guy, or both.  Strangely enough, the guys I do end up seeing more than once all ended up being the ones who did not ask for a coffee date, and the ones who aren't interested in me, or who are kind of weird, are all the ones who insisted on a coffee date.  Mr Meh from a few weeks ago was the only one who didn't insist on a coffee date whom I didn't end up seeing a second time.  I am starting to come to the conclusion that the coffee date, or lack thereof, is a sorting tool for me, a primary screen of sorts (to use some work lingo), but not in the way that it is typically used.
Anyway, back to the topic of my coffee date with K. We met for coffee at a place downtown.  I got there on time.  He got there slightly early and went ahead and got his coffee before I showed up, and didn't offer to get mine.  I don't really care who pays for who, but he got major minus points for not being courteous enough to wait.  It was sort of crowded in the coffee house, and I had to wait to get the milk.  He said he'd meet me outside.  Again, minus points for being kind of non-courteous.   Anyway, K seemed nice enough.  He's a few years younger  than me, but looked older, perhaps because he's a burly guy with a beard.  I was not particularly attracted to him, and he did not seem to be particularly attracted to me.  We took a walk and drank our coffee.  When we were done we parted ways.  From my experience with Mr Meh and Mr NiceGuy a few years ago,  I've learned that if I'm feeling 'Meh' or maybe or even no, to wait and see if they ask if I'd like to get together again before saying anything out of nervousness or politeness.
Because I'm a cranky old biddy and am worried about my looks, I still get annoyed if guys whom I am not attracted to aren't attracted to me.  It's silly, I know, but I guess it's part of being middle aged.

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