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random musings of a crazy cat lady

Sunday, October 14, 2012

You get what you pay for

I had a date with the third okcupid guy yesterday.    He's a divorced guy with two kids, a few years older than me.  He seemed nice and I'd be interested in seeing him again, but I have no clue if he's interested in seeming me again. I'm guessing the answer is no.  Before our date we had only corresponded by email.  He had asked me to pick the venue for our meeting so I suggested that we take a walk and suggested some possible options.  He wrote back that a flat walk would be better so the lake by the chem dept would be better.  I offered to do a coffee date but he thought his knee would be ok.  Anyway, it turns out he had torn his meniscus (same thing I had a few years ago) and had to walk really slow. I slowed down, and I'm not a fast walker to begin with.  We turned around partway through since there were some stairs.  When we got back to where we were parked I assumed we would walk a bit further but he said he needed to get off his knee and that he would talk to me soon.  He had looked at me like he was interested but that goodbye kind of sounded like a brushoff and took me by surprise.  WTF?  Yes, I'm clueless.  At first I decided that I would email him in a day or two if I didn't hear from him and say that I enjoyed meeting him and to let me know if he'd like to get together again. However, today I noticed he had taken down his profile on OKCupid and I am guessing that this not a good sign, either one way or another.  I will leave him alone and he knows how to contact me if he is so inclined.
This is the third time I've done online dating.  The other two times I met up with three guys in person before meeting one that I ended up seeing for a while.  I am a grand total of 5 lbs fatter and 2 years older than the last time I did this, and probably not any more cranky or cynical,but nonetheless it is irritating that I am not doing all that well with the okcupid dates, even though none of the have made a super good impression on me either.  I feel like an ugly fat old biddy, although in truth I don't know if that was the reason.  I still get guys checking me out and flirting with me, just not the OKCupid ones.  There is a part of me that feels like I need to lose 10 lbs before doing online dating.   I've spent too much of my life thinking like this. Honey badger seriously totally doesn't care.  There's a part of me that rebels against this now.   I've been rereading "The Beauty Myth" and it's still relevant.  It was written in 1990.  It was very prescient.  Although it got a lot of criticism for being anti beauty, it was not anti beauty, just critical of making beauty the be all and end all in a woman's life.   Anyway, one of the main tenets of the book is that women are now made to feel that they need to be beautiful to be loved/successful/happy/etc.  Men are not told this.  All the guys I met were sporting a beer gut and didn't bother to dress any different than usual.   By most standards both they and I are sort of average looking and are age appropriate.  The last thing I need to do is be more cynical, but nonetheless I get cranky because middle aged men don't get held to the same standard. 
Nonetheless, I am a stubborn honey badger and I'm not giving up just yet.  However,  I may just go use for a while and avoid those people who are only dabbling on OKCupid because it is free.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Miss HONEY BADGER! Don't give up! You are an amazing person.
    My son just married a girl he met on eharmony. Try a paid site!

    And give yourself a break and a hug!