I've never had a disproportionately big butt, at least not compared to the rest of me. When wardrobe malfunctions befall me, they generally consist of me wearing out the inner thighs of my pants or busting buttons off waistbands. In fact, I've always wished my butt would bust out a bit more and my waist a bit less. Therefore, the possibility of a major malfunction just did not cross my mind when I packed for my trip.
I split the ass of my jeans when I got into my real estate agent's car. D'ohh. I don't know if she noticed - it was kind of low. As far as I could tell they'd gotten stretched out from 36 hours of continual wear and slipped lower down my hips like I was a teenage dude, and then they got pulled on at a non-optimal angle when I climbed into the car. So anyway, I'd only packed one pair of pants that would match the tops I brought, and had packed a dress rather than a skirt, and a pair of hiking pants but only one top that matched those and I already wore it for 36 hours straight. So, on a grand total of zero hours of sleep I had to go jeans shopping in a strange town a few days before my period. Not good. When the 14's were too big I couldn't find a 12, and vice versa, and when they did fit they were too long. I almost bought a pair at the Gap - they looked good and made my jeans-busting ass look nice, but in light of recent events I decided to err on the safe side and get the next size up, which apparently is not carried in the short length. Sigh. I bought a black stretchy skirt at Target instead. There is no way that my butt can bust out of that.
So, dear readers, the moral of the story is don't be a minimalist when you pack for a trip, otherwise you'll have to go shopping.
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