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random musings of a crazy cat lady

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dear Mid-life Crisis Men of Match and elsewhere

Dear Mid-life crisis men,

Yeah, you.  You know who you are, even if you won't admit it to yourself.  I see you on Match.com, emailing me.  I've got news for you. I don't want to be part of your midlife crisis.  I know some women might view it a an opportunity to get a good guy before some other woman snatches him up, pun intended.  I view it like buying a redesign of an existing line of cars.  It may be an improvement overall, but you just don't want to buy one in the first model year, no matter how nice the cupholders are.  I'll let the other women lease you for a year and work out all the glitches, or you can sit on the lot and let some of the issues work themselves out on their own with enough time.
"But why not, Old Biddy?" you say.  "I'm a nice guy and oh so sensitive and my ex-wife/ex-girlfriend just didn't understand me/appreciate me/etc.  Maybe we can just be friends and see where it goes?"  No.  I do not need the drama of a pissed off ex-wife, a sad-sack mopey dude, or, worst of all, guys who say they're separated but really aren't.  Not going to go there.  Look me up again once it's official. 
And yeah, you, T.  I think you're a mid-life crisis dude too, which is perhaps why I've got a such a grudge.  WTF is up with IM'ing me for an hour on Saturday night and going on about how stressed you are with work, how you're so tired, etc?!?!  They last time you were like this you were getting ready to break up with me.  Obviously that is not the case now.  I am actually starting to worry, but that doesn't mean I have any patience for your mid-life crisis.
I've had my own pseudo mid-life crisis, even though it does not technically qualify as one since it was mainly a response to external events.  So I feel I am qualified to comment on yours, if only in my blog.
Love,
-Old Biddy

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