Total Pageviews

random musings of a crazy cat lady

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Return to sender: email to cowdude

I am doing much better now. It's a lot easier now that I have closure, and it also helps that I have been hanging out with my family and CA friends. I am sleeping and eating normally. I've been waking up at 5 AM with mind racing, but subtract out the mind racing part and that is just me, still on east coast time and is pretty typical when I travel to CA. I brood sometimes, but a lot less each day.
I wrote back to cowdude. Part of me wanted to do the cool aloof email - "Thanks for letting me know, have a nice life", and part of my wanted to something more in tune with my honey badger side "Thanks for finally telling me, asshole - bye. By the way, you weren't that good in bed..." His email was not nearly interesting enough to submit it to "Crap Email from a Dude" so I won't bother with that, although it is tempting.
Since cowardude actually had the temerity or cluelessness to write that he didn't know where his email left us, I decided to clue him in. I had a long boring plane flight to ponder my message, so it went through many iterations. It was an aloof but obviously pissed off masterpiece by the end of the flight, but later that night I modified it a bit from its aloof perfection, so a bit more hurt showed through. I won't post it here, but basically I thanked him for his honesty and said that after a month of keeping my distance I wanted to give him my side of the story. I told him that I noticed him pulling back in November, and eventually pulled back myself and mostly gave him his space since I didn't know what else was up in his life. Since he had alluded to his actions being out of character, I wrote that yes, it was out of character for him, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt rather than pester him or break up with him through some electronic means (intentional dig there). I told him that it hurt me greatly that he cut off all contact with me with no explanation and made me realize that whatever else was going on in his life, our relationship was not that important to him.
I then went into nice mode and told him that I had enjoyed his company, and left the option open of being platonic friends, if he was so inclined. I do not think I will hear from him again.
On a better note, I did have a few pleasant distractions during this time.
To the man sitting next to me on the flight: Thanks for asking if I was going to school back east, even though you do use probably use a variation of this line often. It did cheer me up. I'm sorry for then subjecting you to several hours of me fidgeting, sighing, writing, and rewriting.
To the merry couple at the baggage claim: Thanks for showing up in full Santa costumes (both of you!) with your dog in the cutest little reindeer outfit. It was truly an epic win. I wish I had taken a picture so I could post it here.

No comments:

Post a Comment