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random musings of a crazy cat lady

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Old Biddy Movie Review plus more: Skyfall

I saw "Skyfall" recently.  My movie review will be short, since that's not really my thing.  This is the third Bond movie starring Daniel Craig.  I was a bit dubious at first, but have since been won over by the newer, darker style, the inclusion of Judy Dench as M, and the fact that these Bond movies are geared a bit more towards women than the older ones.  Skyfall continues this tradition. There was more nudity from Bond than from the Bond girls, and there weren't really any Bond girls here. It was darker than the previous two, and dragged on a bit sometimes.  Daniel Craig was shirtless quite often.  I approve.  I was disappointed that they didn't let Javier Bardem be a hot sexy villian and instead made him into a creepy looking one, but I know that is pretty typical.  M is the queen of all honey badgers - I want to be her when I grow up.   Anyway, I don't think you need to go see it in the theater, but it was enjoyable.  I am still holding out hope that Angelina Jolie will be the next 007.  She would seriously be the best Bond ever.
But no, the movie review or even the fact that M is a badass honey badger is not really why I'm blogging.  No, the real reason that I'm blogging is to do a smackdown of a 50 or 60-something writer (previously accused of sexually harassing a 23 year old coworker) who whined that it's so unfair that Daniel Craig is muscular and sexy, when past middle-aged movie heroes got the hot young babes by means of charm and savoir faire alone.   Cry me a river and call the wahhhmbulence - this is the sound of someone who doesn't like it that he has less male privilege than he wants.  Gawker and Jezebel already did epic smackdowns of it.  I highly recommend checking it out.  I shouldn't really have anything more to say, but I do.  Is he complaining that men are now held to the same ridiculous standards as women?  Is he suggesting that the Bond girls be age- or experience appropriate for Bond, rather than having Denise Richard play a nuclear physicist? Is he bemoaning the fact that in sitcoms and movies it is perfectly common to pair a fat schlubby guy with a supermodel?   No.  He's just pissing and moaning that James Bond has a nice body now and it's so unfair.  Dude, I hate to break it to you, but even in the days when Bond was slightly less ripped, you're no James Bond.
It's been a little while since I did any rants about online dating,* but this just summarized a lot of what annoys me about it nowadays.  It's that small subset of middle aged guys who have suddenly gotten more, rather than less, picky and tend to blame women or other men, even fictional ones like James Bond, for their woes.  Since I tend not to go for older guys, and they don't go for me either, I was blissfully unaware of this until I hit my 40's and started encountering it in my own age bracket.   I can even see it in their profiles sometimes.  In person, I get younger guys checking me out all the time, as well as some fairly attractive guys my age and older, but from what I can tell the 40-50 age bracket on OKCupid is full of the pickiest low-libido guys ever.  I blame lowered testosterone levels as well as an inability to face reality.  My brother has a friend who's sort of like this.  I'll call him H.  He is my age and is good looking and a total player.  He is also very fixated on the really hot young women.  A lot of guys who are total players just adjust their expectations somewhat and continue having fun, but not H.  Even though he could easily get lots of super hot women in their 30's,  he's not having as much success getting the super hot 20-something hotties as he used to, and is not adjusting that well. 
Anyway, guys, please get used to the fact that neither you nor the women who will date you are as young and hot as you once were.  I know that I am no longer the plump cute Zoe Deschanel lookalike that I used to be**, and that is ok. I don't expect to fuck guys who look like Matt Damon anymore either.  But really, it's not all that bad.  We bring a lot of experience, humor and maturity to the table.  Just because some older guys can attract much younger women doesn't mean that you will.  Decide what works best for you, but please don't waste anyone's time with your whining.  Life is not TV or movies - you won't get the hot babes just because you have a pulse.

* Mr Cub is still in the picture.  I don't know if it will lead to anything, but it is entertaining.
** Sadly, although I did used to have Zoe Deschanel hair, I was born about 10-15 years too soon to fit the adorkable geek girl archtype.  I was too far ahead of my time.  Geek girls were not popular back then.  Of course, my demeanor was/is more like Daria meets honey badger rather than manic pixie geek girl, so that didn't help either.

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