Saturday, September 3, 2011
Blogging from a Train: Dinner with T
I’m a train going up to Sacramento now. It’s a little slower than driving, but cheaper than a rental car and I can goof off and blog.
I had dinner with T at his new house last night. I was sort of nervous, but in a different way than usual. In the past I was nervous that it would be weird or emotional. This time I wondered if perhaps we were just going through the motions and it would be better just to skip it. However, it was ok. It was nice to see him, and good to catch up, but I did not feel sad, melancholy, or annoyed with him afterwards, so that’s a big and positive change.
T looks a lot older now, and is balder and greyer. (Just an observation – I look older too and I’m fatter so I shouldn’t really be too snarky here.) Although he was in good shape, I didn’t feel attracted to him, so that was good too. And, unlike before, I didn’t really give a damn whether he was attracted to me or not.
He bought a fixer upper a bit over a year ago, and has been fixing it up very slowly. I am very amused that it’s taken him WAY longer to finish his bathroom remodel than it took me. He is a bit less smug and overconfident about remodeling projects now. It made me really glad that I opted for the new monster house rather than the fixer upper in Ithaca, and was glad that I could afford to do so there, when I could have never afforded it in the Bay Area without having to do a really long commute.
We talked a lot, but, as always, we didn’t talk about our current love lives. If he had asked, I would’ve told him about cowdude, but he didn’t ask. I did mention cowdude several times in the course of the evening in other contexts (‘my friend’) – if T read between the lines he might figure it out. Yes, T and I are both avoidance masters in that regard.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t know where things are going with cowdude, but he has really helped me get over T and I am extremely grateful to him for that.